


may we all have a vision now and then

by momentofclarity



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Age Difference, American AU, Feelings, First Meetings, Fluff, Kissing, M/M, Vulnerability, there's some old man penis in there, with a side of sex, you're so welcome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:41:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28259376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/momentofclarity/pseuds/momentofclarity
Summary: On a cold December night, Louis meets Harry for the first time.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 74
Kudos: 214





	may we all have a vision now and then

**Author's Note:**

> well hello, it's been a while hasn't it? as some of you may know, i've struggled a lot with writing this year and i'm honestly so relieved and proud to be posting this. is it long? no. is it revolutionary? no. did i write it despite having the worst case of writers block ever? yes. have i spent the year listening to orville peck instead of writing? yes, it might or might not be noticable.
> 
> so here it is - hope you all enjoy and that more words will come to me next year. 
> 
> thank you to everyone in the bird chat, lisa, jenny, everyone who's kept supporting me throughout this year, and honestly-what-would-i-do-without-you-nic. thank you.

The moment he walks inside, Louis shoulders off his blue plaid jacket and pulls his hat off, shoving them both underneath his arm as he makes it over to the bar. He’s already sweating a bit from the difference in temperature from the icy outside and he drags his fingers through his bangs so they don’t get stuck to his forehead. With a deep breath he lets the tension in his shoulders release and a smile twitches at the corners of his lips.

The Stallion is the only gay bar around for miles and miles and over the years it’s become like a second home to him. On band nights people from all over the state come to hang out or dance with a loved one, safely surrounded by their own peers. Tonight there’s a group of people in their early 20s taking shots and laughing loudly in a corner booth, and scattered by the smaller tables are a few couples sharing quiet conversation and tap beer under the colorful holiday lights. 

Louis puts his jacket and hat down on a bar stool and waves at Mel who instantly makes her way over to him with a raised eyebrow, bar towel thrown over her shoulder. 

“Would you look at that, not often we get strangers around here,” she says as she pours a pint of Louis’ favorite beer. 

“It hasn’t been that long, but it feels good to know you’ve missed me,” Louis grins and happily accepts the pint she shoots over the polished bar. 

“For someone who usually comes in every other day, I’d say it’s been a while.” She braces herself against the counter, toned arms - that always made Louis just the tiniest bit envious - flexing as she leans forward. 

“Been working, got a few deliveries out of state,” Louis explains with a shrug as he sits down on a stool. “How’ve you been, love?”

Mel gives him another unimpressed look at the pet name and shrugs. “Layah moved out a few weeks ago, so you know… trying to make this whole long distance thing work.” 

“Oh yeah right, she likes it in Chicago though, right?” 

“Like a fish in water.” Mel smiles all bittersweet and Louis chuckles while raising his glass.

“Well, cheers to her making her dreams come true, you gotta tell her I said hi.”

He gets a pat on the cheek for that. “Promise, also, has no one told you you need a shave?”

“You know I look eighteen without a beard.”

“Hah, isn’t that what gets you laid though?” 

Louis just shakes his head with a smile and leans forward. “Speaking of, anyone interesting around?”

Mel has been his, if somewhat reluctant, wingman for years now and she definitely knows his type. Older, a bit rugged, but always with a nice smile. She tilts her head towards the end of the bar and Louis’ eyes get caught on the man sitting by himself, staring into a glass of scotch. Louis can’t get a good look at his face from where he’s sitting, but the broad expanse of his shoulders and the grey shift at the man’s temples looks very promising indeed. 

“Who’s he?” Louis asks because he’s sure he hasn’t seen the man around before. 

“Name’s Harry, been coming around for a few weeks now. Always very polite, always alone.”

Louis feels a flutter of excitement in his belly. “And here I am, looking for company.”

Mel just snorts at him and Louis takes that as his cue to make his way towards the end of the bar. 

The man doesn’t look up until Louis is right by his side and the flutter in Louis’ belly just increases as he’s met with deep green eyes. There’s something hesitant in them, and Louis gives him a small smile as if approaching an easily spooked animal. 

“Hey, is it alright if I join you?” he asks and the man stares at him for a few long moments as if he’s trying to make sense of his words. 

“Umm, yeah, um, of course.” His voice is deep and just the tiniest bit raspy. 

Louis sits down and reaches his hand forward. “I’m Louis.” 

The hand accepting his is softer than expected, miles away from the rough calluses Louis is used to against his skin. It makes his mouth water just a bit. 

“Harry.” 

“Nice to meet you Harry. Never seen you around here before.” Louis props his elbow up on the bar and leans forward slightly, showing his interest and relishing in the way he’s rewarded by Harry’s eyes traveling over his chest.

Harry takes a sip of his scotch. “Vermont originally, but Illinois for the past few decades.”

“Ah, you grew up with all that fine food then. You’re not a chef are you?” Harry’s eyes flicker over his face again, and Louis feels like he could feed off of the heat in them. Too quick, like maybe they’re not allowed to look, but still burning. 

Louis wants to make it blatantly clear just how allowed to look Harry is and tilts his head to the side, exposing his neck and widening the spread of his thighs. 

Harry’s nostrils flutter a little as he swallows heavily and Louis can’t help grinning.  _ Yes. _

This man is gorgeous. Skin tan and muscles flexing under the stretch of his blue button down. That combined with the deep laugh lines around his eyes and the soft plushness of his pink lips pulls at Louis’ strings harder than anyone has in a long time. 

God, to feel those hands on him. To get that deep voice in his ear and those serious eyes traveling all over his body. 

“A garden planner actually, but I do love cooking.” Harry smiles a little self deprecatingly, as if admitting to being good in the kitchen is a flaw. 

“Ah, well, I’m a truck driver and can only make half decent breakfast eggs, but I do love eating.”

That pulls a wider smile from Harry’s lips and Louis needs to hold back a dramatic gasp as a deep dimple forms in one cheek.

“Is that so?” Harry even lifts a teasing eyebrow and Louis’ chest fucking  _ bursts. _

“Uh huh.” He nods and takes a deep drag of his beer, giving himself a moment to rein himself in so he doesn’t throw himself at this stranger. 

“I see.” Harry’s eyes shimmer before he empties his glass and nods towards Mel. “Can I, um, get you anything?”

“Whatever you’re having is fine,” Louis says, biting on the inside of his cheek to contain his excitement. 

Looks like this night is going to turn out alright after all. 

\---

They share a few drinks and as the crowd grows around them, Harry tells Louis about his company and the renovation of his house. Louis shares a few stories he has from the road and feels himself drift closer and closer with each passing honking laugh he gets from Harry.

At first glance Harry looks like any of the weather bitten men Louis has spent the night with before. Hair teetering on the line of greasy, some stubble along his jawline and that tight set of his jaw. But the longer they talk, the more the sweetness seeps out through the cracks. 

The movements of his hands gets softer with each drink and he keeps licking his lips, leaving them shiny and mouthwatering. The arch of his eyebrows are sharp and serious, but the curve of his smile more gentle than anything. 

Eventually red and green lights start floating slowly across the room, making the shadows over Harry’s face even deeper and Louis has to hold himself back so that he doesn’t reach out to touch. 

“I’m happy I decided to come here tonight, I haven’t been for a while,” Louis says and gives Harry a meaningful look while biting at the corner of his bottom lip. 

Harry licks his lip again, dimple deepening slowly. “I know. I’ve come around for over a month and I haven’t seen you. I… I would’ve remembered.” 

That broadens Louis’ smile. “Yeah? And why is that?” 

He knows he’s teasing and with the way Harry bashfully lowers his head—he swears there’s a blush across his cheeks. 

“You’re… you’re very beautiful.”

Louis has gotten a lot of compliments from a lot of men over the years, and yet hearing one through that slow drawl quickens the rhythm of his heart, makes it race against his ribcage. 

He looks out over the empty dance floor and his heart tries to escape up through his throat as the first notes of “Happy New Year” by ABBA comes on. 

Taking a deep breath, he tries to shake the sudden nerves off his shoulders. He’s very aware that he’s the one blushing now.

“How would you feel about a dance?” 

It’s a simple question, but it hangs heavily in the air as the hesitation from earlier that night returns to Harry’s eyes. 

“You should probably ask someone else for that, I haven’t danced since I was young.” 

And that is probably only a stated fact, but it feels like something else. A confession. 

Louis gives into his urge and finally lets a hand reach out to touch, fingers carefully dancing over the back of Harry’s hand. 

“But I want to dance with  _ you _ .” His voice has gone soft, back to reassuring the scared animal behind Harry’s eyes. 

Harry lets out a chuckle through a deep breath. “You’re mad.”

Turning Harry’s hand over and lacing their fingers together Louis smiles. “I really just want to dance with a handsome man.” 

He can see the moment Harry’s shoulders slump with relief and he decides to give in. To give up. To confess to wanting. 

Mel gives Louis a sly grin as he and Harry move along the bar, hands still tied together as they approach the dark floor. Harry stops eventually, turning around and waiting for Louis to make the next move. To be the one to reach out once more. 

The plastic floor is sticky beneath the soles of their boots as Louis steps closer, right into Harry’s space. He reaches for Harry’s hand, to place it in the dip of his own waist and Harry just stares. Louis brings their joined hands up and puts his other one on Harry’s shoulder.

“I really am no dancer,” Harry says, voice close to cracking. 

“I think you’ll do just fine,” Louis says and gets closer, seaking the heat of Harry’s chest close to his. 

They start swaying like that, a slow back and forth in time with the music and Louis tilts his head slightly to look into Harry’s eyes. “See.”

Harry smiles, and Louis feels like it’s a new one. Not quite shy, but closer to disbelief. 

“You must’ve danced a thousand dances with men far more…” Harry looks up at the ceiling for a moment, as if searching for the right word. “Enticing than me.”

Louis lets the words sink in for a moment before reaching up to put one of Harry’s curls behind his ear. “I’ve met a lot of men who call me pretty and expect me to do whatever they say. None of them have had the grace you do.”

That makes Harry’s chest rumble with laughter. “Grace? Really?” 

Louis grins. “Uh huh.” Then he takes a deep breath and decides to go with a hunch. “And none of them have been nearly as pretty as you.”

Harry’s reaction is immediate, smile dimming and eyes falling down. Louis reaches up to rest a hand against the heat of Harry’s cheek, thumb brushing over the sharp cut of his cheek bone, urging him to look up again. 

Louis finds himself searching for something in Harry’s eyes. 

“I’ve been called a lot of things, but never that.” Harry says almost too quiet to pick up over the music, and Louis finds something heartbreaking in the shine of marble green. 

His chest tightens.

“Sweeter than sugar,” Louis says and tries for a smile, wanting to ease some of the pain clouding Harry’s eyes. 

The crinkles by the corners Harry’s eyes deepen then and Harry pulls him closer, so that they’re swaying—cheek to cheek. 

\---

The DJ seems to be indulging them, because they get to stay closely pressed together for another few songs before something more upbeat comes on. By then Louis’ nose is pressed to the soft skin on Harry’s neck, lips grazing the loose skin over Harry’s rapid pulse just so. 

When they pull apart Harry’s eyes are dark and almost frantic, fluttering over Louis’ face. 

“You want to get out of here?” Louis asks because he’s fairly sure Harry won’t be the one to.

Harry just nods before moving back towards the bar. Louis goes back to where he dropped his jacket and hat earlier and Mel is waiting for him. 

“Getting out of here, are we?”

Louis nods and can’t help flashing her a smile. “He’s… yeah. Thanks for tonight, love.”

“See you around, loverboy.”

“Hah!” And with that Louis turns to follow Harry out into the cold night. 

\--- 

Harry is waiting for him outside, jacket on and shoulders drawn up close to his ears. 

“Fuck, it’s cold,” Louis says and uses that as an excuse to get closer. 

He puts his arms up on Harry’s shoulders, fingers combing through the thick curls at the back of Harry’s head. 

“Yeah, fucking freezing.” Harry’s hands come up to rest at Louis’ waist, mimicking the way they stood just moments ago on the dancefloor. 

“Yours or mine?” Louis says and leans in even closer, the cold of their breaths coming out in a white cloud between chapped lips. 

“Yours,” Harry rasps out, eyes stuck on Louis’ lips.

The first touch is so light it’s nothing more than a whisper, and Louis’ stomach erupts into a flurry of flutters. 

“Oh god,” Harry says and then their lips press together harshly. 

Louis grabs hold of Harry’s hair, holding on tightly as he opens his mouth just so, wanting desperately to get the taste of Harry on his tongue. 

Harry’s arms wind tightly around him, flushing their bodies together as Harry’s tongue comes out to give Louis exactly what he wants. He tastes the scotch and so much tender sweetness in the careful swipe of Harry’s tongue. 

When they pull back, Louis’ crotch is tightening with arousal. He gives a short nod. “Mine it is.”

\---

The short walk to Louis’ apartment is long hurried steps and clasped hands, and Louis only stops them twice when he simply can’t stand another second without Harry’s mouth on his. 

Once inside the elevator Louis pushes Harry up against the wall, cock already hard and wanting as he grinds against Harry’s thigh. 

“Fuck, I want you,” he whispers against Harry’s pink swollen mouth. 

“I don’t even…” Harry gasps. “You’re so beautiful, so… just. Just let me…”

“Anything,” Louis says, not even considering if the statement is true or not. It feels true as Harry’s fingers find their way underneath his jacket and ice cold fingertips feel along the waistband of his jeans. 

Louis' hands tremble as he struggles with the keys, Harry pressed all along his back, mouthing at the nape of his neck and sending shivers down his spine. 

The apartment is so quiet and dark Louis almost feels like he’s dreaming as they stumble through the hallway, jackets thrown over chairs and shoes ungracefully kicked against the wall. 

It’s not until Louis turns on the soft bedside lamp inside his bedroom that he’s thrown back into the reality of what’s happening. 

Harry’s standing in the doorway, chest visibly rising and curls falling down across his forehead. He’s stunning. Even more so for the question in his eyes, wondering what the next step will be, leaving Louis with the decision of which direction they’re going. 

“Come here,” Louis says softly and reaches his hand out for Harry to catch. 

Harry takes it and stops in front of him, that heartbreaking something flashing in his eyes yet again. 

“I… I haven’t, I don’t know…” 

Louis puts his thumb softly against the cushion of Harry’s bottom lip, fingers curling under his chin. “Shh, it’s alright.” 

“I don’t know what you’re expecting… I…” 

“I’m not expecting anything, I  _ want  _ though, so much.” 

“Want what?” 

“I want to kiss you, make you feel good. Is that… would you like that?”

Harry closes his eyes and nods slowly. “Yes.”

Louis trails his fingers down Harry’s shoulders and starts unbuttoning his shirt carefully, not looking away from Harry’s face, waiting for him to catch up and signal that they’re on the same page. 

He pulls Harry’s shirt out from his jeans and lets it fall down his shoulders to the ground. Harry’s wearing a white undershirt and just the contrast to his tanned arms is enough to make Louis’ cock throb. 

Then he steps back to take his own t-shirt off and makes for the bed, pulling Harry along with him. 

Harry lies down on his back and Louis leans over him, one leg draping over Harry’s hip and one hand coming up to drag through Harry’s hair as he presses their lips together in another kiss, finally, and they quickly pick up where they left off in the elevator. 

The slow hesitation quickly dissipating and folding into hurried want. 

Gentle and soft hands come up to travel over the expanse of Louis’ naked back, feeling so good Louis lets out a moan. As he tilts his hips, grinding his cock against Harry’s hip, he can finally feel the swell of Harry’s cock through the fabric of his jeans and his whole body tenses with want. 

“Oh fuck, want to see your cock. Want to feel it.”

Harry groans and pushes his head back against the pillows. “Jesus Christ.”

“It’s fine to call me Louis,” Louis sniggers as he drags Harry’s shirt up over his belly and Harry barks out a laugh.

“Don’t make me laugh, I’m trying… I’m barely…” Harry tries and Louis can’t help grinning as he slides down to put his mouth on uncovered skin. 

He places a row of soft kisses along Harry’s happy trail, smile softening. “You’re perfect,” he says and maybe it’s too much. Too intimate for someone he just met, but in the space between them it feels just right. Like it’s just what Harry needs to hear.

Harry cradles his cheek in one hand, looking down to meet his eyes. “What are you doing to me?” 

Louis places another few kisses over his sternum before leaning up again, brushing his nose against Harry’s. “I just… you’re so fucking pretty, I can barely believe it.” 

Harry’s eyes are suddenly shining with unreleased tears and he bites his lips together for a moment. 

“How can you… I’m just a sad old fuck, how can you say that?”

“Because it’s true.” Louis leaves it at that, because it’s really that simple, and he grabs hold of the hem of Harry’s shirt so he can pull it up over his head. 

Louis caresses over Harry’s chest, chest hair sparse and speckled with white. “So pretty.”

“Kiss me.” Harry says then and Louis easily gives in. 

Their hands grow urgent and they grab at each other’s jeans, fingers fumbling with zippers and buttons. It takes a little while for them to struggle out of their clothes, but eventually Louis has Harry all naked before him. 

He opens his mouth to be able to fucking  _ breathe _ as he takes Harry’s cock in his hand. Long and gorgeous, getting harder by the second as Louis lets his hands travel along the velvet skin. 

Harry moans and his breath grows harsher, coming out in tight puffs. 

Louis kisses Harry along the column of his throat before looking up to meet his eyes. “What do you want, sweetheart?” 

Harry looks like he’s moments away from falling apart, body trembling and eyes shining with tears. “Just kiss me, please I’m… please.” There are dark blotches of red heat over his cheeks and Louis’ breath stutters in his chest. 

“Of course,” he rasps and tries to give the kiss his everything, even though it’s hard when his own almost painfully hard cock is sliding along the soft hair on Harry’s inner thigh. Something about tonight has him gasping for air, makes the tips of his fingers tingle with heat, with the dew on Harry’s skin and the way they both seem to be free falling. 

They kiss deeply, tongues sliding together slowly but persistently. Several times Louis feels Harry’s wide hands slide down the slope of his back, only to stop just at the curve of his ass, so the next time Harry’s fingers graze over his lower back Louis makes sure to push into the touch. Encouraging and eager, desperate to show Harry that he’s allowed to touch, just how allowed he is to want, because that want is mirrored in Louis. 

With Harry’s hands slowly sliding further down, holding onto Louis’ ass as Louis twists his hand at every upstroke on Harry’s cock—Harry lets out a long raspy moan. 

”That’s right darling, you feel so good, you are so good,” Louis rambles quietly, lips brushing over Harry’s plush ones.

Then Harry grabs hold of him, long fingers digging into Louis’ behind, pushing them closer together. 

Harry looks at him with tears gathering in the deep wrinkles at the corner of his eyes. ”Please,” is all he says, and Louis nods, pushing their mouths together, tongues meeting desperate and wet as Harry crumbles beneath him, body tensing and hot liquid spilling all over Louis’ tight fist. 

As Harry keeps clutching at him, holding him with trembling arms, all it takes is Louis grabbing hold of his own hard cock, teeth biting down on Harry’s bottom lip, and Louis comes with a gasp, tears suddenly falling unbidden onto Harry’s skin.

\---

Harry wakes up the next morning from the pain shooting out through his lower back. He hasn’t even opened his eyes yet, before he’s forced to let out a long groan. His temples throb with the memory of a few too many drinks the night before. 

Then the  _ memory _ of the night before hits him like a ton of bricks.

The look in the boy’s eyes, sharp and curious, also reflected in the tilt of his smile. Harry opens his eyes as the heat rises in his cheeks and he becomes aware of how different this mattress feels from the one at home. 

At first he’d kept it all under control, kept his eyes lowered, his thoughts to himself. Just being in that bar was enough for him, just knowing he was in a place where he was Known was enough. Or it had been, until that boy came over, confident and honest even in the way that he walked. 

As he pushes his face further into the pillow, he recalls that raspy laugh and the gentle touch, the sweetness pouring out at him—rendering him completely powerless. 

The way he’d bowed down, knees weak, at being called something as juvenile as pretty. 

Slowly he detangles himself out of the sheets, and with cheeks still burning he picks up his clothes scattered over the floor. The boy is nowhere to be seen, which he’s grateful for, but as he buttons up his shirt, he steels himself for what might be beyond the bedroom door. 

Hopefully the boy has gone to work or just taken a walk in the hopes that Harry will have left by the time he comes back. Harry has every intention to do just that. 

But all he has to do is push the door slightly ajar, and he hears a hum from down the hall. His heart speeds up and he lets out a deep sigh, embarrassed both by the memory of last night as well as his apparent inability to act like the man that he supposedly is. 

Men in their sixties shouldn’t cower like this, with cheeks burning and mouth dry.

He slowly makes his way down the hall, and forces himself to stop at the kitchen door instead of attempting to just sneak out like a thief. 

The boy, Louis, stands by the counter with his back turned to him, a big t-shirt falling over his shoulders, and head bobbing along lightly to the tune coming from lips that Harry now knows to be very soft. 

”Good morning,” Harry says and his voice comes out a thick rasp. 

Louis turns around and meets him with a bright smile. Harry’s heart immediately summersaults. 

”Hey beautiful, sleep well?”

Harry’s mouth goes impossibly dryer, and he feels himself grasping for words that refuse to make sense. His eyes burn, and he has to tuck his head down in shame. He should’ve just left. Should’ve made a quick exit, because he has no idea how to face this head on without the excuse liquor burning in the pit of his belly. 

Then there’s a soft hand on his cheek, tilting his head up to meet eyes bluer than the sky in the morning light.

”You alright? I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, just. Please stay for breakfast?” The words come tumbling out, as if Harry isn’t the only one dancing on a trembling nerve.

Finally, with eyes stuck on those blue sparkles of light, Harry manages to rasp out, ”Breakfast would be great, thank you.”

Louis' face lights up again and before Harry knows it, those thin but impossibly soft lips are on his again. Just two seconds of warmth brushing against him, but Harry feels a smile tug at the corner of his mouth. 

Maybe it’s just breakfast. But to Harry it’s another few moments, basking in the warmth of a boy impossibly beautiful and seemingly all Harry could ever wish for. 

”Breakfast eggs coming right up!”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading, please leave kudos and a comment if you enjoyed!
> 
> You can also find me on [tumblr.](http://gaycousinlarry.tumblr.com/)
> 
> And here's a tumblr post if you want to [reblog.](https://gaycousinlarry.tumblr.com/post/638302072579751936/may-we-all-have-a-vision-now-and-then-written-by) Thank you!


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